A Free Loaner

By: John Morrill

I got new tires put on one of my EVs recently. And (at least) one of them was improperly balanced, making my car shudder at almost any speed and causing me to take it back to the place who did the work. But that isn’t the point of my story. It’s only the preamble. 

See, it was late on a Friday afternoon. And so, to make my car right, I was given a loaner for the weekend. You should know that there are 3 EVs in my garage. No ICE. It’s been that way for two-and-a half years. So, I was quite taken aback when, while completing the paperwork for the loaner, the man said, “Oh, and don’t worry about replacing the GAS. We’ll take care of it.” 

I’m like “Gas?!!  What’s that? I haven’t bought any gas since 2022!” Even the last five times I’ve traveled by air, I’ve rented an EV when I got there.

So, I was given the key fob to a nearly new, moderately priced, 4-door, ICE sedan to get home in. I then proceeded to have the absolute worst driving experience I’ve had in 30 months. 

It started with that first “Oh S#!+” moment when I let off the accelerator for the first time, and remembered in horror that I needed to press the brake pedal – this realization took one and a half seconds more than it probably should have taken. Needless to say, that first stop wasn’t smooth. But frankly, it didn’t get much better all the way home. The brakes were grabby, uneven, and clearly, I have gotten out of practice.

But, having managed to navigate “safely” off the dealership’s parking lot without hitting the back of any other cars, I was headed into Friday rush hour traffic. A little way up the road at a stop sign, I had to make a right. I needed to pull out quickly, get over many lanes to insert into the left turn lanes that would lead me up onto the freeway on ramp. And I took it completely for granted that the car I was driving would accelerate and slip neatly into the traffic stream immediately when I stepped on the go pedal. It didn’t. The 4-cylinder stuttered and hesitated at first. Then it roared so that anybody who hadn’t already been looking at me pulling unwisely out into traffic could also turn and become aware of my lack of competence. Then some tires spun, as there wasn’t any computerized traction control making adjustments to the drive wheels 60 times a second, creating more noise…and I think some smoke.

I finally got moving, trying to get up to match the traffic speed, but I swear the damn thing faltered and sputtered as it shifted gears 5 times on its way up to 30. My spine has become distinctly unaccustomed to compensating for transmission gear shifts and I was acutely aware of each and every one all the way home.

The dual left turn lanes going under the overpass at Indian School & the 101 have a somewhat abrupt shift-over point from the straight lanes. As I tried to steer this unfamiliar car into the far-left lane behind and around some other cars, I found that the ICE car wallowed considerably, seeing as it didn’t have the nice, low, planted center of gravity that I am used to. 

I finally reach the freeway on-ramp leading up to a 5-lane section of the 101 and feel impotent and helpless as I feel the poor thing struggle for what seemed like days to achieve a highway merging speed. I had finally gotten it into my head that I needed to start allowing a great deal more time and space for maneuvering than I have become accustomed to. I managed to bull my way into the slow lane and finally was beginning to work my way over towards the left when I suddenly remembered – I no longer have legal access to the HOV lane at this hour in this car.

I managed to make it home in one piece, open my garage, park, and get out, only to be overwhelmed by the now shockingly alien odors – a potpourri of exhaust fumes, a hot engine, radiator, and anti-freeze. I expect that this car will remain parked where it is until Monday when I’m informed that my car is corrected and ready for retrieval. I will drive one of my other EVs for the weekend. 

I have frequently told people that I never expect to go back to an ICE car and that EVs are just easier to live with. But I hadn’t realized just how unquestionably reliant I’ve become to them moving when I expect them to move, turning when I want them to turn, and willing to come neatly to a stop the moment I quit pushing the accelerator instead of continuing to rush headlong towards whatever was in front of me. I thought that the noise difference would be the most obvious thing I might notice going back to a gas car. But it turns out that it’s the smells. Then, there’s all the jerking of transmissions and brakes – a little of which might be “on me” – but most of it is on the car. The speedometer wasn’t even digital – it was analog. Literally, the only thing that impressed me at all about the car was the displayed range: “420 miles.”